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Mahmoud Darwish once wrote: " Death does not hurt the deceased, death only hurts the living"
I wonder what he would write, if he knew what kind of soul has recently joined the rows of the deceased:
While our mortal voices wailed over your departure
Angels rejoiced in your arrival
While we bathed your corpse into an immaculate state
Your spirit had already been rinsed of its sins
As we lowered your regal shroud into the hallow depths of this Arabian land
Where no light enters
You frolic around in your restored youthful self
You frolic around in your restored youthful self
In the brightest Gardens of Eden.
They bruised your chest as they were frantically trying to shock you back to life
But you had already made your grand exodus
Your energy released back into the arms of the universe
Those who saw you after you've been cleansed, scented, and shrouded in white
Said there were no adjectives in the Arabic language
That could describe what laid to rest before them
So they called you a bride, a queen, a cherubic angel
Because even as you were cold and still
You only emitted warmth from your lips
Even in your lifelessness
You only looked as if you were sleeping
You made it look so temporary
As if you'd awaken any moment now from your slumber.
I shook you
I screamed your name
I pressed my ear against your ribcage
I lifted your eyelids to be sure
Empty shrunken pupils met my gaze
I let my tears fall on your face
And to no avail
No trace of a light
No trace of a life.
How is it, that just mere hours ago you bid me good morning
And now I'm lying next to you on a hospital bed
Embracing you, kissing you
Only this time, you did not reciprocate
I bid you the worst of farewells
Only now, you did not return the gesture.
What a worthless life
What an absurd existence
How trivial and painfully insignificant worldly concerns now seem
When you lose your best friend of 22 years
When you part with the woman you called "mama" until you took your first steps
All that time, it was she who filled the emotional void when your father passed away
So you never felt incomplete whatsoever
Every time she would let me examine her, she'd chuckle and say:
" It was only yesterday that I was changing your diapers and now you're a doctor! "
Constantly reassuring she would be there to see me graduate
Every time I studied for exams into the darkness of the night
She would be there too, keeping me company
Making sure I was never alone.
And if ever I had felt streaks of loneliness before
Now I am the most lonely
If ever I had asked God why tragedies must always befall my family
Now I understand that the world is divided into uneven destinies
If ever I had wondered about a latent void within that refused to be filled
Now I am certain it was in preparation for this cursed day
If ever there was any one person who knew how to contain my occasional emptiness
She is gone. She no longer is
In turn, my emptiness permanent
And my doubted tragedy
Definite.
They bruised your chest as they were frantically trying to shock you back to life
But you had already made your grand exodus
Your energy released back into the arms of the universe
Those who saw you after you've been cleansed, scented, and shrouded in white
Said there were no adjectives in the Arabic language
That could describe what laid to rest before them
So they called you a bride, a queen, a cherubic angel
Because even as you were cold and still
You only emitted warmth from your lips
Even in your lifelessness
You only looked as if you were sleeping
You made it look so temporary
As if you'd awaken any moment now from your slumber.
I shook you
I screamed your name
I pressed my ear against your ribcage
I lifted your eyelids to be sure
Empty shrunken pupils met my gaze
I let my tears fall on your face
And to no avail
No trace of a light
No trace of a life.
How is it, that just mere hours ago you bid me good morning
And now I'm lying next to you on a hospital bed
Embracing you, kissing you
Only this time, you did not reciprocate
I bid you the worst of farewells
Only now, you did not return the gesture.
What a worthless life
What an absurd existence
How trivial and painfully insignificant worldly concerns now seem
When you lose your best friend of 22 years
When you part with the woman you called "mama" until you took your first steps
All that time, it was she who filled the emotional void when your father passed away
So you never felt incomplete whatsoever
Every time she would let me examine her, she'd chuckle and say:
" It was only yesterday that I was changing your diapers and now you're a doctor! "
Constantly reassuring she would be there to see me graduate
Every time I studied for exams into the darkness of the night
She would be there too, keeping me company
Making sure I was never alone.
And if ever I had felt streaks of loneliness before
Now I am the most lonely
If ever I had asked God why tragedies must always befall my family
Now I understand that the world is divided into uneven destinies
If ever I had wondered about a latent void within that refused to be filled
Now I am certain it was in preparation for this cursed day
If ever there was any one person who knew how to contain my occasional emptiness
She is gone. She no longer is
In turn, my emptiness permanent
And my doubted tragedy
Definite.
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| Forever Loved 26.6.2014 |
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